Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
