She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I had to cum in my sink.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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