She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
