im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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