Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
