none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
