Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
