I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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