I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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