How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
