She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
