we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
