direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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