just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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