My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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