sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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