You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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