Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
