i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
