Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
where are my eyebrows?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
