"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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