whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
