Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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