We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize