suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
