Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize