I cockslap morals
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
