I didn't shave. On purpose
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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