he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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