All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize