i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
