How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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