i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
