I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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