Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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