so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
