matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
