when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
