All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
