was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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