K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
