I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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