I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize