she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize