me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
