this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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