What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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