I am puke
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
