I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
