I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
