you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
