it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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