he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
