remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
