college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
