these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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