ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize